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THE LOBBY A gathering place. Introductions, sports, showin' off your ride, birthday-anniversary-milestone, achievements, family oriented humor. |
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#1
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Because I'm a man
*Because I'm a man*
When I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win. *Because I'm a man* When the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of Holy Communion. *Because I'm a man* When I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem. *Because I'm a man* I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like steaks, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like 'tofu' or 'tampons’. For all I know, these are the same thing *Because I'm a man* When one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. *Because I'm a man* I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.... though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator..... (Former applies mainly to engineers). *Because I'm a man* There is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always golf, cars, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask *Because I'm a man* You don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't… and if you are feeling amorous afterwards... then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others. *Because I'm a man* I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? *Because I'm a man* And this is, after all, the year 2012, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... Like hosing down the patio and wandering around in the garden with a soda wondering what to do next. *This has been a public service message for women to better understand men* |
#2
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Are there more than 5 or 6 women here to read this???? I'm not sure...
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1977 Black Trans Am 180 HP Auto, essentially base model T/A. I'm the original owner, purchased May 7, 1977. Shut it off Shut it off Buddy, I just shut your Prius down... |
#3
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Most of those work if you are a man driving a mini-van.
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Some guys they just give up living And start dying little by little, piece by piece, Some guys come home from work and wash up, And go racin' in the street. Bruce Springsteen - Racing In The Street - 1978 |
#4
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Boss,
You mean the guys with wives that carry the "family jewels" in their purses??
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“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” Dr. Thomas Sowell |
#5
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That's not funny! God forbid, it could happen to you too.
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Gary Get in, ShuT Up, Hang On! Member of the Baltimore Built Brotherhood MY GTO built 4th Week of March 1966 "Crusin' Is Not A Crime" Keep yer stick on the ice. |
#6
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Those would be the ones.
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Some guys they just give up living And start dying little by little, piece by piece, Some guys come home from work and wash up, And go racin' in the street. Bruce Springsteen - Racing In The Street - 1978 |
#7
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Gary,
NOT a chance!! I was nearly 35 when Sandy and I got married. She's tried to change me,but it HASN'T worked.
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“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” Dr. Thomas Sowell |
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