[arbys]

"$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change, when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me.

"Only $4.68," he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 58, not even 60 yet. A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck, wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"
I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.

What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"
All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

He offered these kind words, "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And, no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home!!!!!!!!!!

[66bonne]

Great story !! I'm 62 - I feel your pain.

Jim

[Brewster]

Funny, and a good read. As I sit here in bed with colon problems that my father didn't have until his late sixties. Im 47 and look like him on his death bed at the age of 71.

No body said it was going to be easy!

[performerrpm]

hilarious.........!

[ReelFun]

Well it says in your status by your name you are a "senior member". Funny story though!

[arbys]

Originally Posted by ReelFun

Well it says in your status by your name you are a "senior member". Funny story though!

A few years ago when I was working, I hesitated at something for a moment. The co-worker said "are you having a senior moment"? I replied "you'd better hope my ' senior moment' isn't your LAST moment".

[Keith Seymore]

Originally Posted by arbys

A few years ago when I was working, I hesitated at something for a moment. The co-worker said "are you having a senior moment"? I replied "you'd better hope my ' senior moment' isn't your LAST moment".

I always say "...it's not just a moment. It's a lifestyle..."

K

[Bob Dillon]

It gets worse. Wait 'til you have to get up to pee twice a night. Wait until you have to get one of those plastic pill cases so you can load an entire week's worth of meds at once. Wait until you're delighted that Walgreen's has a 2 for 1 sale on generic reading glasses.

I now get the senior discount at the local shooting range. I'm amazed they don't have someone just to keep an eye on me.

[LeighP]

People I've been training at work recently have less years on the planet than some of my T-shirts.....makes you think....
Just recently I've had to replace or repair a few power tools.....my wife says they must be poor quality tools to need replacing like that...I had a think on it...
1/2" drill, 25 years old, needed some repairs....
4" angle grinder, 30 years old, not worth repairing....
Years slip by pretty quick, I still recall buying them and I didn't think they were THAT old.....
At least my workshop ramps havn't let me down....33 years and still going strong. I recently treated them to a sandblast and a powder coat...they look better than new.
Kind of cool having stuff around that long....now if I could only remember where I put half my stuff, I'd be doing better!!!!!

[Dennis H.]

Hey, what is the big deal. I am 59 and I will take the senior discount any chance I can. In fact, I will ask for it any chance I get. Take advantage of anything that is offered.

[Kurt Zimmerman]

There is one thing that will keep your things from getting too old, having your kids borrow them.

The worst thing about getting old is having to replace a roof that you were not planning to replace in your lifetime!

Kurt

[wytnyt]

is this what life is like when you reach 100?
im still a baby then

[performerrpm]

may as well mention what another old guy told me, there comes a time when ya gotts hold ya balls outta the water, so i guess this comes with age and he is refering to sittin on the john

[Greg Reid]

Originally Posted by Bob Dillon

I now get the senior discount at the local shooting range. I'm amazed they don't have someone just to keep an eye on me.

Just between you, me and the fencepost.....They do.

[Qball]

Originally Posted by performerrpm

may as well mention what another old guy told me, there comes a time when ya gotts hold ya balls outta the water, so i guess this comes with age and he is refering to sittin on the john

Ahhh Jeeeeeze, man! Bad visual!!!!

[Bob Dillon]

Originally Posted by Greg Reid

Just between you, me and the fencepost.....They do.

Considering the way I've been shooting lately, then, I'm pretty embarrassed.

[ho428]

I'm waiting on Summit racing to offer senior discounts and take my AARP card.

[Rapdron]

I guess it just gradually catches up to you.
My brain is probably in the mid 30's, but my body says I'm 25 years older.

The day I realized it was when I was at a local car dealer picking up some parts.
I opened my door just as a young girl was passing by.
She just tapped my door with her bumper, but it scared the h*ll out of me.
I looked at my door, a minor dent and told her not to worry about it.
She insisted that we go inside to report it "Just in case!"

When we both walked in together, she went up to the counter and asked to use the phone.
"I just hit this old man's car and I want to file a police report"
I immediately turned around to see who she was referring to until I realized.
IT WAS ME!

Ruined my day
Ron

[wrenchmen]

great story!...yeah gettin old suks.

I have to take blood pressure pills along with a nexium daily..and lately I sometimes forget if I took them!...usually a few hrs. later I get heartburn at work and that signals to me, yeah dummy you didnt take them.
So the other day Im explaining this to my Dad and he says, just do what I do..after I take my pills in the a.m. I turn the bottles upside down......my mom is listening and says, so your the one turning those bottles over, every time I see them like that I turn them back up!

[cnc]

I loved reading this.... great story laughed all the way through....
Just remember the GOLDEN YEARS AINT SO GOLDEN......so I'm told ....Just turned 46 Oct 10 .Chris