[simsb52]

My friend (the father) has a 50 yr old son that has swung on mommies teat for 50 years. Now she is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's and he had nowhere to go. The parents divorced 40 yrs ago. The son has been in and out of jail, addicted to heroine and meth, and is living in a homeless shelter. Mommy kept "enabling him" and now that he has no one to give him money, He finally got a job. ...but being "enabled" this long has ruined him for life. Cant teach a old dog new tricks.

[Cliff R]

"Similar situation. My son Matt, a top math and science student, couldn’t focus on anything but having fun. Two stints at college that he didn’t attend, low skill jobs for spending money. Finally at 26 he saw the light and started attending college for engineering. Died in an accident on the way to school 22 years ago tomorrow 3/3/22. I would give everything for just one more hour with him. Count your blessings even though you don’t recognize them."




Very sad, sorry for your loss.

We'd be devastated here if we lost our son, so we choose not to put him in the street. On a good note we are entering our third year with Matt having the same job, no evidence of drug use, and he has money in the bank for the first time in at least 20 years. Not counting our blessings just yet, as I mentioned earlier it's been a LONG roller-coaster ride, we're on a high spot right now, but even with that said we're a long ways from him moving out of here and getting his own place and paying his own way in life.......

[LKLusza]

Originally Posted by grandam1979

Start making him pay rent and for food and also supply his own hygiene products you might be amazed how fast he figures it out. I would charge him the going rate for a nice apartment not a room.

Amen! I was 18 when, at two weeks after I graduated high school in the early '70s, my dad told me to go fill up my car with gas "on him". When I got back, he told me that that was the last thing I got from him until I got a job (Yikes!). The next day, I came home and proudly reported that I had job, he said "Great! Now, about room and board..."

Obviously, I didn't appreciate it at the time, but in retrospect it was one of the best lessons he taught me. After working and saving for about a year or so, I managed to do well enough to afford my own apartment. Ultimately, I put myself through college, and I have since retired from a local Adult-Ed Vo-Tech school as a program coordinator and Health Services Administration Instructor.

I also had an older brother who pulled the same "I haven't found myself" shtick. Pop gave him 1 semester at college to do just that. He flunked out due to goofing off and was "invited" to leave. 48hours after he got home with that news, Pop drove him to the Navy recruiting office. Well, many, many years later, my brother retired as an accomplished and respected Naval officer and went on to get his Master's degree in Education and become a successful teacher as a second career - all on his own.

Sometimes all it takes is a little "kick start" to get things going.

[gobrdgo]

I wrote a book but didn’t hit reply fast enough. But I don’t doubt a mothers or fathers love. It’s complicated and some kids are gonna do what they’re gonna do. Don’t blame yourself. I come from a large family and we have our black sheep. Lord knows mama tried.

[carcrazy]

I have seen so many of these stories play out with friends, relatives, etc. Sadly, most of them, with a few exceptions, ended poorly. My girlfriend's youngest son was a hell raiser that would disappear for months on end. Went to prison for a few years on drug charges at a very young age. When he got out she set him up with everything he needed to succeed. He went right back to the same old crowd. Rarely held a job for more than a few weeks. He eventually got clean for a few years in his late 30s. Went to see an old friend and they got high on heroin.....he died. That takes a hell of a toll on a mother!

[Half-Inch Stud]

Toe dip; the water is hot! So my parent are gone but in my teens they gave me the gas-ard to fill up awhile. Otherwide i worked and worked for paychecks since 14.

Fact; we all live in a money-based IOU system, so the kids need a bit of financialsupport to enable jumping-in and making ends meet.

Wife and i bought homes for 3-of-4 kids and Lease-Purchased the homes to them. Boom, that worked. each home was $14k, $19k, and 20k and each were "move-in condition". Well those recent days are nearly gone in Johnstown PA.

We JUST bought a home in AL and that is our Southern "empty nest" Estate. The PA "Northern Estate will be assumed Lease-Purchase by the sturdiest of the kids. Oh, but that means we have "down-sized" our stuff ( refer to GeorgeCarlin on stuff ), and myPontiac hobby is getting cropped further. My hobby stuff may go curbside or dumpster, otherwise I will u-haul the crap South for dust/rust to overcome the value.

PM if you want harnesses, TH400 parts, HEIs, Ported Torkers or dual quad, maybe my shortblock 462 and 48 heads. Think the 68 GTO goes South. I aint dead, and still enthuze with the hobby. But we are down-sizing to a SingleWide on 5-Acres. Back to farming indeed. HIS

PS a lot of buugs in the south. No such thing as clean and neat like the North; either bugs, dust or water ruins the plans that are easily attained in the North!

[Half-Inch Stud]

Did I post thaat.

[mzbk2l]

Sounds like big life changes, HIS. Enjoy!