[Cliff R]

I decided to start a STOOPID people thread.

One would think that with all this great information out there accessible in millisecond with the hand held computer in your left hand folks would be a LOT smarter......but sadly they are not.

No names mentioned here but if you are reading this and it's you.........I really don't give a chit!

Call yesterday, guy tells me his carb is running "pig rich" after installing the rebuild kit and tuning parts I sent him. Once off idle his A/F meter is pegged rich everyplace. Turns out he decided to take a single MAB carb, block off the only main airbleeds it has and re-drill them in a new location. Why, I ask? Because there is a picture of it in your book with instructions on doing so. I told him I've NEVER done that mod and it's not in my book. He insists that it is and was so convincing I even opened up the book and took a look.....NOTHING in there even remotely talks about doing that to your carburetor......duh?

Another call a few days earlier. Guy is all pissed off that he never recieved his package. So I track it. Says it was delivered at the mail box three days ago I tell him. Oh, he says, maybe the wife didn't see it in there (it's a 7 x 7 x 6" box). I'll go down and take a look.......and low and behold there it was!.......duh?

Guy calls up and is NOT happy with the carb he just "rebuilt" using my kit and tuning parts. Says it WILL NOT IDLE no matter how many times he takes it apart or where he sets the float, etc. I told him to check for vacuum leaks, he snaps right back at me that he's used carb cleaner, WD-40 and propane and there ARE NO LEAKS. So I ask him about the application. He says 1967 Chevy small block carb on a stock 1967 intake. I ask him if he installed the factory steel shim gasket between the carb and intake. Snaps back at me that it NEVER had one and he recently rebuilt the engine and didn't put one back on it then. I tell him that is NOT POSSIBLE, but he insists that his never had one and ran fine before the engine and carb rebuild. I offer to send him one but he's pissed at me at this point and not buying anything else. About a week goes by and he emailed me (I'll bet that wasn't easy) telling me he located a stainless shim gasket in a box of parts leftover from the machine shop when they hot tanked the intake, installed it and now everything is working like it should......duh?

I have at least 1000 more stories.........what's yours?

[Cliff R]

Here's another good one I'll add real quick.

Guy calls up telling me the carb he just rebuilt with my parts has "no power". Idles fine, drives fine, but lays down going to full throttle and never recovers. We go over EVERYTHING that he did, secondary spring adjustment, pull-off releasing smoothly, secondary hanger not bent, secondary metering rods didn't fall off the hanger, etc. No flags go up so we decide to send him a bigger N/S assembly as his 455 is now making over 450hp. Calls back a about a week later, no improvement. Even borrowed a friends carb and it doesn't do it. Hum? I told him that there MUST be a fundamental issues someplace, huge piece of crap stuck under the N/S assembly, float dragging the sides of the bowl, clip on the needle binding up, etc. He's not buying any of it and frustrated with me and my parts at this point. Another week goes by and he calls back and (this had to be hard to do) tells me he found the issue........installed the fuel filter BACKWARDS......duh?.......

[Mr_GTO]

Common sense isn't so common anymore. I have so many I can't think of them all but one that comes to mind. In 1992, I'm 19. I inherited my great grandmothers 1969 Buick Wildcat. 69K miles on it. It was in decent condition. My brother and I drove it up from Florida to MA on bias ply tires. That was a fun trip lol.

A year or two later I was forced to sell it as I was returning to college. Now this car used an 1/8th of a quart of oil on the trip. It ran like a top. I had some chuckle head looking to buy the car took the oil fill cap off the valve cover, put his hand over it and said there was no compression. Yea, ok, get off my lawn moment.

[TAKerry]

Those are pretty good Cliff, and I am sure you have your share of idiots calling.

I was in the paint store yesterday morning and another contractor came in with 2 identical cans of paint he bought there a couple days prior. He was raising heck with the counter guy, said he painted with one can (which was empty now) and was using the other (half full) for touch up. Said nothing was matching and was blaming the paint store for not mixing it right, demanding some kind of compensation for his lost time etc.

Paint store guy picks up both cans and immediately points out that one can is flat (the empty) and the other is semi gloss (the one he was using for touch up)!! Guy changed his story fairly quick. The paint store mixed up another gallon of flat and GAVE it to him for his trouble.

[Half-Inch Stud]

Oh, i got a story. So i sent (maybe dropped em off) 4 68-69 "268" Q-JET bodies and tops to CLIFF's for recoloring, and bought some kits.

Get em back, clean the little blast balls out and get to rebuilding these Hi-Compr carbs for low-Compr use. That means Secondary system is same, fuel delivery is same, Primary needle/seats to match SD-455 carb, ah and uh...

What to do about idle air bleeds (Baseplate holes vs Airhorn bleed holes). So i read CLIFF's book, take notes. Re read a few times because it took a month of Sundays. Done. I bought a fine machinist reamer and did a little reaming.

Test beat all 4; all 4 didn't want to start, nor idle. All 4 had same hesitation in Part-throttle BEFORE transfer to Secondaries. I put the 1050 back on and runs great, sell 3 of the Q-JETs and mentioned my low-compr stumble deal and say they "probably work great on a properly-cammed and compr engine". Got no complaints there.

Go to sell the 68, take 1050 off, put 68 "268" Q-JET on; no start, fires and no idle. So i uhm, ah, well put a Choke plate on it: Starts, idles with Same Vac as the unchoked Holley. And drives okay. Stoopid of me to not use a Choke for about 35 years.

[bhill86]

At least the last two guys had the decency to reach back out to admit their mistakes. I don’t imagine that happens too often.

[carbking]

With 50 years of doing telephone orders, I could write a book (if I had time )

One of the better ones occurred before the internet, when HMN was the standard for advertising.

Got a letter with a hand-written, in pencil, address. Opened envelope, and found a pencil caricature (I couldn't promote it to the category of drawing), with the caption: "This isn't the original carburetor to my vehicle (note: vehicle not specified), and there are no identification on this carburetor. Please mail me a rebuilding kit with all the parts I need, and I will mail you a check".

I am sure the caricature was meant to be a drawing.

Cliff - I think in many cases, one could replace the term " STOOPID" with "ARRRROGANT".

If you remember the book about the "Peter Principle", you might enjoy my corollary on human intelligence, which states: "49 percent of the population is below average!".

Jon

[Cliff R]

It is actually quite RARE for anyone to admit fault.

I've made PLENTY of blunders over the years. Right down to putting an impact on the crankshaft/clutch retaining nut on my father in laws chainsaw instead of taking the time to remove the spark plus and stuff a nylon rope down the cylinder to stop the piston and keep th crank from turning while I removed the nut with a socket.

Guess what? I didn't realize that the nut was left hand threads, so hit the impact and snapped the end right off the crankshaft.....OOOOOPS!

I haven't repeated that one, good lesson learned many years ago.....

[Cliff R]

I get a LOT of orders directly off the website without talking to folks. A carburetor part number is REQUIRED to order any or all parts.

Not a week goes by someone doesn't order a carburetor rebuild kit and puts "1234" for the carburetor part number.

The SAME person(s) will call in about a week looking for and asking about their order and why they haven't received it.......duh?

[Jay S]

Stupid people being azzhat’s playing the blame game never turns out well.

Local radio station has a “stupid human’s” segment in the afternoon that is always entertaining. Yesterday it was a bank robber calling Uber’s for his get away car. He got caught on the third back robbery on the same day, when the Uber driver came to pick him up on the third robbery the dude was covered in blue dye. LOL

Years ago, one cold winter evening, a car load of teens lost control of their 80’s G body and planted it on a snow bank. Got a call from the neighbor to ask if we could help them. Took my 4x4 pickup with my dad to pull them out. The car was planted about 3 foot off the ground on top of a snow bank. I backed up to the car, and dad got the chain out of the pickup and Dad told them too hook up their end of the chain (he always did that for liability reasons, and told them that). With 2 girls watching, and a boy watching, 2 other teen age boys layed under the back of car studying where to hook that chain for what seems like an eternity, it was cold out! Then they said “Ready!”… Dad asked “your sure?”
They both smiled and said “yep!”
We had just been to an auction that day, had about 1500 lbs of stuff in the back of my 4x4 pickup. I figured the weight should help. But I tried pulling them out and just spun. So I backup up to get more of a run at it. Took probably a dozen tries to get it to budge, yanking on the 30 some feet of 1/2” chain harder and harder. I finally got it. Then I looked and noticed the chain was hook to something in the center of the back of the car? I thought what could they have hooked too? They were excited to get the car out, but when they unhooked the chain they noticed they had a gas leak, they were not quite as happy, but still seemed to be happy to get down the road again, off they went. I was kind of chuckling about the hole thing now, and when Dad got back in the pickup and I asked what on earth did they find to pull from the center of the car? He said he wasn’t sure until they unhooked it and we both started to laugh…They had hooked the chain around the tube to fill the gas tank.

[72projectbird]

There's a lot of book smart, real world stupid people out there.

[Mister Pontiac]

Some of my funniest memories are the ones the kids have given me. Case in point...

Years ago, my 16 year old step-daughter comes home and parks her 99 Accord in the street in front of the house. I'm in the driveway working on my 67 GTO.

She be-bops into the house with a smile, and I notice something doesn't look quite right on her Accord. As I walk over, I realize the right front tire has almost no air left in it. I go up and knock on her door...

"Lauren, do you know you have a flat tire?"
"I do?"
"Come with me a minute."

At the car I point and ask, "Did you notice your steering wheel was pulling to the right side as you were driving home?"

"Oh, I just thought my car was being STOOOPID."

"Well honey, in the future, when your car is being stupid, please tell me because your car is trying to tell you something."

"Okay."

To her credit, a decade later, she still calls me when her car is 'being stupid.' Lesson learned.

My 4.0 GPA super bookworm daughter. Love her to death!

[Lemans64]

I a truck towed in with a no oil pressure concern, customer just did his own timing chain job. Vehicle will fire up but no oil pressure.
This vehicle does not require to remove oil pan to remove timing cover, but for seem reason this person did, also installed new oil pump.
i figured he screwed up the new oil pump and did not prelube it, no he did not, pump is burnt up. Install ne pump and still no oil pressure.
Remove the pan and inspect the pick up and found that he made his own gasket for the pick up tube. All good except he did not
put a hole in the middle for oil to go thru. I laughed so hard. Put in correct gasket and we have oil pressure. Guys in the shop had a good laugh at his expense.

[poncho-mike]

My neighbor is a chemical engineer. He was having issues with his riding lawn mower at the beginning of the season. It started with a dead battery, the engine would turn over after replacing the battery but wouldn't start. I asked him if he had installed the battery wires correctly, he said he did. I went over, and immediately saw the red wire on negative and the black wire on positive. I told him it was wired wrong, the red wire went to positive. It turns out there are two types of lawn mower batteries, the main difference is whether the positive terminal is on the right or left.

Many years ago, I saw a black 78 Trans Am with a for sale sign in the window in the small town where I lived. I looked at it, the sign said "Noise in motor" and the price was cheap. I started talking to the owner, it turns out it was his teenage son's car. When he fired it up, the noise was obvious: it was a rod knock. The guy's son came out while I was there, and I asked him how long the engine had been knocking. He said he drove it for a few days with it making some noise before it got bad.

I just about lost it with the next sentence. He said "It was leaking oil, but I figured out it didn't leak as much if I didn't put any in it." His dad just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

[DaleO]

Originally Posted by Mister Pontiac

Some of my funniest memories are the ones the kids have given me. Case in point...

Years ago, my 16 year old step-daughter comes home and parks her 99 Accord in the street in front of the house. I'm in the driveway working on my 67 GTO.

She be-bops into the house with a smile, and I notice something doesn't look quite right on her Accord. As I walk over, I realize the right front tire has almost no air left in it. I go up and knock on her door...

"Lauren, do you know you have a flat tire?"
"I do?"
"Come with me a minute."

At the car I point and ask, "Did you notice your steering wheel was pulling to the right side as you were driving home?"

"Oh, I just thought my car was being STOOOPID."

"Well honey, in the future, when your car is being stupid, please tell me because your car is trying to tell you something."

"Okay."

To her credit, a decade later, she still calls me when her car is 'being stupid.' Lesson learned.

My 4.0 GPA super bookworm daughter. Love her to death!

A parallel story with my recently graduated ME engineering degree, fully employed, independent and has already bought a house daughter. Smart yes, sometimes doesn't think though. We were talking about her thrifty 1997 Honda Civic HX 5 speed manual which I would get 40-45 mpg regularly, sometimes 48 when I commuted with it. Anyway she was shocked to learn cars were still burning gas when sitting still at a light. She has now read the Chilton's manual cover to cover and wants an oil change lesson. She wasn't at all interested when she was at home but all in due time I guess. I would never call her stoopid but I liked your story and had to share mine. And she has seen me working on my 67 GTO too.

[Greg Reid]

A few years ago we noticed that my wife's vehicle had a slow leak in one of the tires. I told her to stop by the local tire and alignment shop to get it fixed. Talked to her later and she said the tech told her that he didn't do anything to the tire because, "I didn't see no nails in it"... What?
I told her that he wasn't supposed to be looking for nails. He was supposed to be looking for leaks!
I found the leak myself and took the tire back to him. I drew an arrow on a piece of tape pointing towards it and had written on it in big letters.. "LEAK".
It's an excellent second generation, family owned shop and the guy was new but he wasn't a kid... I noticed that he wasn't there long.

[Sirrotica]

Originally Posted by 72projectbird

There's a lot of book smart, real world stupid people out there.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Book smart, and common sense stoopid. The best thing is you can't convince them that they're wrong, until it costs them money and time. I've run into a whole littany of engineers that will quote their formulas from their days in school, and insist that the can't be wrong, even when they're starring at the results, proving otherwise.

[thepontiacman]

Anytime you deal with people you find out how crazy people can be.

Here's a T-shirt that I like to wear. I bought several when marked down.


Sent from my moto g power 5G - 2023 using Tapatalk

[60sstuff]

Common sense barely exists today.
I don’t even think the young generation knows what that means.
Book smart, computer in hand will only go so far. You still need practical common sense.

We actually had (not anymore) a STOOPID on this site that was really annoying to everyone.

[unruhjonny]

lol

Thanks for the laughs!