[sdbob]

I have days that start with anxiety,sometimes panic attacks of being alone. Other days not so anxious. The Grief Share weekly group therapy and daily emails help. I see a psychologist once a week for one on one understanding of the situation. He is saying I'm on 'schedule' so to speak. I'm not hiding my feelings. I'm facing them daily. I miss her terribly everyday. I look around our home and almost see her there. I've left things that she put out ,I cant move them. I talk to my Pontiac friends,close friends daily also some train friends. I'm getting back into some socializing through a church group. I've found out this grieving is very tiring worse than working. That's why I'm trying to replace it with positive socializing. I feel the creator had a plan putting us together 42 yrs ago ,now he has a plan also. Our faith helped us through the difficult times. Mary surrendered to Gods will and when all seemed lost, came the resurrection. I still cry. Ive never cried so much and felt so lost at times. Then other times I feel good,laugh some. I have never been angry at god or my wife, never. Hope this helps a little. I know talking for me helps even though I reiterate our lives together and the last day.

[vidguy]

Bob,
Thanks for sharing... I am going through the same emotions you describe doing the same things..

Sounds like you are much more together than I am. You're doing all the things they say to do.. I just cant talk about her without breaking down..

42 years together , 38 years married and yes,. I have been angry. Not with her, but near the end I was terribly angry when we were unable to do things and she was in pain.. It was so unfair.

I will try to start going to family functions. One is planned for Nov 6 and all my cousins, who were at the Celebration we had here, will also be there..
I have not decided if I can go..

I sat down and wrote thank you cards to all the people who sent cards to me. That was very hard...

Still don't have any interest in the cars... They are parked in the brand new shop...The one she wanted me to have.

[vidguy]

Originally Posted by Mr_GTO

But just remember, it was people that cared not only about your wife but about you. If I passed or my wife passed I'd be blown away with that many people showing up. It shows you meant a lot to every one of those folks.

You mourn your way. That's the only way. It will be a long journey and a tough one. just stay close with your best friends and family.

You are right. I joked about it and said they came for her and our 2 kids, not me, but I felt the care and support..

[sdbob]

I still cry when I talk about my wife ,Bobbie. However I think it helps me. The daily Grief Share
Emails really help me understand my feelings. Our favorite song is/was ' I Know I'll Never Find Another You' by the Seekers. The finality is hard. A waitress,we know personally , Friday night told me I cant believe she is gone. Some of her clothes I left hanging on a hall rack just as if she was getting ready for a function. I'm guilty of not sending 'Thank Yous' yet I just cant I know people need to be appreciated. I'll do it. The animals are feed, clothes washed,I'm eating-cooking,bill's are paid. It's getting a little easier. Psychologist im seeing told me there are some that set at home in a room. I'm trying to get into different socializing. I'm basically lonely at times . I pray and ask gods help to walk with all the time. If you ever need to talk, send me private message I'll be glad to talk. I'm not a psychologist. God Bless you and your family.

[Old Man Taylor]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I had the good fortune of still working when my wife passed away. The people there were a good support group, but I still had trouble putting one foot in front of the other. That's been almost 18 years ago, and it is still hard. The first year or two I buried myself into cars. I built a couple of engines, and seriously campaigned my racecar. I have two suggestions: go to at least one session with a professional grief counselor; and don't try to hide your grief. It's part of the recovery process. It will still be very hard. We were married for almost 40 years, and had been "an item" for 43 years. Almost exactly the same as you.

[sdbob]

What I have learned. Example,You go to the funeral home pay your condolences, and go to the funeral for a friend or relation.Now I know the experience of being the survivor. The grief and all the emotions. One other thing ,try to be friendly to someone who lost a loved one. Just say hello if you are not sure what to say. Some are afraid of hurting or seeing someone cry or get emotional if they talk to the survivor. Yes maybe ( I'm not a psychologist)but sometimes when people that knew us basically ignore me, I feel more alone and lost. Just be friendly, maybe how are you right now. I usually say ok,maybe I get emotional then I feel good saying something positive about my wife( healing). Prayers have really helped me alot.

[vidguy]

Thank you both..
OMT I remember when you lost your Wife. Time does pass.... Bob thank you for the continued support and the offer to call..

I think I will talk to someone.. It hasn't become any easier. I spent the last two weeks dealing with our investments and beneficiaries, life insurance, Social Security, Banking... there is so much you need to change that you dont think about..

I left the property and went with my Daughter and her family to a camp in Burney Falls where we always went, for 2 days...
But of course we had all been there many times and everything brought back a memory of Her...

I left there and drove down to Lake Tahoe and am spending a few days in our favorite place...A favorite little cottage not far from where we met in 1978..
It's all hard..

If anyone is in the Auburn Ca area, not only would I like to just say HI, but I am ready to let go of all of my Pontiac stuff.. Let me know and you can come by and poke around.

I dont feel up to selling and shipping but I will sell all the boxes in one fell swoop as they say.. Some decent parts.
Thanks again.

[Mrpontiac1013]

Sorry for your lost as well

[sdbob]

You and your family are in my prayers. I havent thought about selling anything. Volunteering one day a week as we used to do together. That helps being with others. God Bless.